18-year-old best friend says mean things to girl about her outfit, girl lashes out: 'I tried to explain that there's a difference between being honest and being mean'

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Feb 14, 2025 11:00 PM EST

Having a best friend is one of the most special bonds a human can experience. They aren't your family, so they're never obligated to love you and spend time with you, yet they choose to always love you unconditionally anyway. Sometimes friendship bonds are more meaningful than romantic bonds. This person knows you better than anyone. Sometimes, they know you better than you know yourself, and they will be there for you through thick or thin. 

One part of being best friends with someone is being able to tell your friend things that other people wouldn't necessarily be able to. You could say to them that the person they were dating wasn't the right choice, when it would be hard to hear from anyone else. You could also tell them, with love, that you think their outfit is bad. It's important, however, that whenever you are offering your opinion to your friend, it comes from a place of kindness and wanting what's best for your bestie. One girl faced an issue with this when her supposed best friend told her that she didn't like her outfit. Sure, everyone's entitled to their opinion, but if it's coming from a place of trying to tear someone down, maybe you should keep it to yourself.

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    Cheezburger Image 10465000704
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    "AITA for lashing out at my friend after she kept making r*de comments about my outfit?"

    So I (18F) recently bought this new outfit that I felt really good in. I was super excited to wear it out with my friends, including my friend Kenzie (18F). However, throughout the night, Kenzie kept making r de comments about my outfit. "That looks...interesting..."
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    "Wow, you actually think that looks good?" etc. I tried to brush it off at first, but after a while it was really starting to get to me. I asked her why she was being so mean about my outfit, and she just said she was trying to be honest with me.
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    But all her comments were just making me feel bad about how I looked. Finally, I just snapped and yelled at her that she was being a terrible friend and that I didn't appreciate her constant negativity.
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    well after I lashed out at her, Kenzie got really defensive and retorted that I was being oversensitive about her comments. She said she was just trying to be honest with me and that she had a right to express her opinion about my outfit.
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    I tried to explain that there's a difference between being honest and being mean, and that her comments were just making me feel bad about myself. But she just kept parroting that she was just being honest and that I should be able to take a little criticism.
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    Things just escalated from there, with both of us yelling at each other and saying some pretty harsh things. She ended up calling me a stupid b*tch for getting so worked up over a stupid outfit and I called her a horrible friend for always criticizing me and never supporting me.
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    The night pretty much ended there, with the rest of our group awkwardly standing by watching us argue. I felt embarrassed and upset after the fight, but I still believe I was justified in standing up for myself. so aita for lashing out?
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    The girl followed with an update on the status of her and her friend's relationship.

    UPD For ppl who dont wanna go back: so this morning I decided to reach out to Kenzie and try to talk things out. We met up for coffee and had an honest conversation about the fight. She apologized for her mean comments about my outfit, but she also admitted that she felt justified in being honest with me. I
    via FullVermicelli4866
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    justified in being honest with me. I tried to explain that there's a balance between being honest and being cruel, but she just didn't seem to get it. As the conversation went on, I could feel a strain in our friendship. Kenzie still thought I
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    friendship. Kenzie still thought I was being oversensitive about her comments, while I felt frustrated that she just didn't seem to understand the impact her words had on me. We eventually ended the conversation without really resolving anything and went our separate ways. Since then, our
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    separate ways. Since then, our friendship has been kind of awkward. We still hang out in a group setting, but things are definitely different now. Kenzie doesn't make as many comments about my outfits anymore, but the tension between us is pretty palpable. It's like we both know
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    palpable. It's like we both know there's still unresolved issues but neither of us really knows how to address them. The rest of our mutual friends have picked up on the tension as well. They try to stay out of it, but it's hard not to notice the elephant in the room whenever Kenzie and I are in the same place. It's like everyone is
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    same place. It's like everyone is tip-toeing around us, afraid of saying the wrong thing and causing another argument. As hard as I try to act like everything is fine, I can't help but feel like this whole situation has really hurt our friendship. It's like the trust and
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    friendship. It's like the trust and closeness we used to have has been chipped away, leaving us with this awkward, strained dynamic. I wish we could go back to the way things were before this whole mess started. As time goes on, I find myself distancing myself more and more from Kenzie. I feel
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    more and more from Kenzie. I feel like I just can't be myself around her anymore, and that's really sad to me. We've been friends for so long, but it feels like she doesn't really "get" me anymore. I keep
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    really "get" me anymore. I keep trying to tell myself that maybe we just grew apart, but part of me wonders if this fight was just the catalyst for something that was just simmering under the surface the whole time. It's like, when I
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    the whole time. It's like, when I think back on our relationship, there were definitely moments of tension and disagreements before this incident. But I always just wrote them off as minor bumps in the road. But now I'm starting to wonder if those bumps were actually signs of bigger problems all along. I feel like our friendship
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    all along. I feel like our friendship is at a crossroads right now. I wonder if we can work through this and get back to a good place, or if this fight has irreparably changed things. Every time I see her, I feel a pang of sadness and nostalgia for the way things used to be. But at the same time, I can't
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    to be. But at the same time, I can't help but feel this anger and resentment towards her for making all those mean comments and not understanding why they hurt me. It feels like we're stuck in this limbo of trying to act like nothing has changed, but both of us knowing it has. I've been
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    us knowing it has. I've been replaying that night in my head over and over again, wondering what could have been done differently. But no matter how many times I analyze it, I always come back to the same conclusion: this fight has irrevocably changed our friendship.
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    Sometime we outgrow each other. Simple as that.

    Sadly, it doesn't look like there's an easy fix for this one.
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    People in the comments were on this girl's side.

    Cheezburger Image 10465000960
    via ciabattespugnose
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    NTA. Kenzie wasn't being "honest," she was being mean. Her comments were intended to make you feel bad, and you're perfectly justified in standing up for yourself. She crossed a line.
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    NTA. she is being rude, if she is a true friend, as long as you like your outfit and feel gootd on it, she should support you and hype you up!
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    A good question!

    I wonder if she was jealous? Sometimes people say things. like that under the guise of trying to help you when in reality they are envious.
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    NTA. There's a huge difference between being 'honest' and just being r de. Real friends don't tear you down over something that makes you feel good.
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    Some helpful tips for future misgivings.

    Next time she does that look at her up and down smirk and walk away I PROMISE YOU this will work
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friendship friendship drama aita friends reddit story mean girls girls clothing reddit thread Reddit
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